My Version of What I Wish Guys Knew

So after having a bunch of these things sent to me in emails I thought: "WTF! Any reasonable logical girl wouldn't go ape-crazy over their guys not doing this or that for them!" So I decided I'd write one in a way as unbiased as I could!

MY Version of What I Wish Guys Knew

1) Please, don't fart, burp, scratch your armpits/...other... man parts around us. We want to date a human, not a neanderthal, please!

2) Showing your affection, yeah, I'm not telling you to tell me you love me every two minutes, or always hold my hand, or crush me to your side, or always have an arm welded to my shoulder, but it's nice to be open and know you aren't ashamed of me

3) As a note to the one above, being around 'the guys' with us there too is no reason to avoid/ignore us. I'm not saying ditch your friends and be all cozy in a corner-type and lovey-dovey with me in a corner, but gosh, we are STILL HERE!

4) K, so if you can drool over Megan Fox, Scarlette Johhanson (I know I spelt her name wrong), or whoever, that's fine with me, you watch Transformers again, I'll just Google Alex Pettfyer, Leonardo Di Caprio, Brad Pitt and all the other yummies out there!

5) I don't care what your car looks like or what it drives in. If we are going somewhere it should be clean, smell nice, and be comfortable. I would prefer if it weren't pink though... But I'd still ride in it with you.

6) Dates; put some thought into them. If you know I hate a boxing match, don't take me there. I love rock concerts, whoo lets go baby! Dinners are nice for me, but no fancy-shmancy shiz goes well with me. but if your girl's a romantic do it!

7) We have a that time of the month. Imagine if you had blood spurting out of your.... you-know-what? Add stomach pains and back pains and other pains and headaches. Then add emotional crap to that. It ain't a fun feeling. If we snap at you, forgive us. But don't think that that time of month is a piece of cake; it HURTS LIKE HELL!!!! You get brownie points for helping us feel better though!

8) Alright, you went to the movies with your friend Alex, who I HATE! I ask you: where you've been? You can say I went to the movies with Alex. I may be a bit mad about it but I will get over it. You don't stop me from hanging with my friends. If any girl stops you from seeing your friends, chances are she's a psycho b*****. Dump her, and get with me ;) (JK!!!!!!)

9) We like clothing, and shoes and gossip (not me but other girls do) so deal with it, please. If it's all the girl talks about, I repeat, dump her, before she sells you to buy a Chanel (lol) bag.

10) Dress a bit more cleanly around us. HYGIENE IS A MUST! You must have: deodarant, shaven, clean, showered, nice smelling non-dirty clothing and the such. No AXE, or anything else that smells like a dead fish. Cologne is nice... in its limits, some of us get headaches easily, I've had to go out of class because my allergies give me severe headaches and make me feel lightheaded if there is way too much cologne around.

11) Okay, if a girl makes you wait at her doorstep more than 30 minutes after the time she calls you over, cuz shes doing her make up, ditch her, please. It's just disrespectful to you cool guys. If we respect you we'll call you over at the right time. A few minutes late, we'd like you to overlook it but anything more than 30 is just stupidity!

12) Hugging from behind is cute. Don't scare me from behind or I'll treat you like I would treat a person trying to attack me I will kick your sorry arse. You should know better.

13) Maybe it's just me who hates this but DO NOT and I repeat DO FRIGGIN' NOT blow in my darn ear!

14) Clingy, possessive butthole attitude, WE HATE IT, you punch a guy cuz he SEEMED like he was flirting Imma mess you up. If a guy touches me in a wrong way and you see I am mad or insulted by it, I beseech you to punch him, but till then, keep your hands at your sides. And if you are dating a girl who like me, prefers independence, we will beat the guy up ourself :D

15) If we are mad, don't defend yourself, don't say 'I love you', DO NOT tell us we are wrong if you value your man bits. Oh and if we are mad at you, I'd suggest you RUN!

16) Lastly, gosh, if you love us you won't cheat, constantly stares at other girls, hate on our friends, ditch us just to hang with your friends, ditch us for anyone, tell us you love us then go tell you 'other' girlfriend the same thing and DON'T GET US PREGNANT. Our fathers/brothers/male cousins/ male friends will hunt you down with shot guns!

-Blake ;)